Are You There God and Goddess? It’s Me, Sam…

Blessed Be everyone!

Wow, have things been going on! Some really cool things and some very serious things…

I celebrated my 21^st birthday with my beloved parents and Little Bro by going to the movies and seeing something I’ve wanted to see for months, “Rock of Ages” (yay)! I’m a huge fan of the Broadway performance and the movie didn’t disappoint, although, the movie and the musical are two completely different things that I love for completely different reasons. The movie has a HEA ending while the musical ending is more realistic but still happy. Both are awesome in their own way.

Some might know that a couple of weeks ago was the Summer Solstice also known as Midsummer or Litha. And it’s not just a Wiccan or Pagan holiday, its celebrated all over the world as the longest day of the year and as the half way point to the end of summer.  It’s the end of the Oak King’s reign and the Holly King has taken his place, and the time has come to prepare for the upcoming harvest.

When Litha came, I wasn’t in a very good spot. It was a mixture of things that I could write ten pages on, but let’s just say it was multiple stresses from multiple areas of my life. I had a plan that I wanted to make Litha a big thing with my family and we’d go outside and have a bonfire with marshmallows and a small ritual and…everything fell though as sometimes it does. I was disappointed because I have been putting off all the sabbats and esbats because things would come up with my internship or me trying to muster up the creative energy to work on my creative writing that I hadn’t touched since May which isn’t going very well…

The sun was setting, and I was alone with my family doing their own thing.

I couldn’t take it anymore. I walked outside, barefoot in my cupcake pjs, and knelt at the foot of the several years old willow-esque tree in the back yard where I like going for making offerings and doing rituals. I felt awkward and uncomfortable, not just because I was kneeling on some very hard dirt in my unpadded pajamas. I had only felt that way once before in the seventh grade when I had to talk with the school counselor after a poem I wrote about a grey cloud made my English teacher think I was depressed…don’t ask.

I knelt in the quietness of Nature and I cried everything out of me, every frustration in my life, every angry thought that I had of me and how disappointed I felt with myself. After the crying, I still sat. And…I talked. I talked to the God and Goddess for what seemed like hours, but it was only a couple. I know my neighbors must have thought, “Oh, that neighbor’s kid is just not right” but… I had never felt so connected to Spirit than in those moments. I felt a pressure release inside of me and a velvet comfort in my mind that seemed to say “I hear you. I understand. It’ll get better”.  

My point of this is that life has its sucky moments where you feel mentally and emotionally shattered. It could be from the death of a beloved person in your life or from financial hardships or just from plain loneliness. But I think something that M. Flora Peterson said rings true, “Today in our fast paced lives, its challenging to find those 10-15 minutes a day where we can find our center, find our balance, and really feel that divine connection in our lives”. For months I’ve been feeling that something was missing. That something wasn’t right. I don’t know if what I described could be called a ‘spiritual awakening’ or ‘wakeup call’ or something. But whatever I was…It was something that I really needed and maybe it’s something that many people need.

So I want to assign some homework for anyone who wants to do it and it will only take 10 minutes…

  Go someplace where you feel comfortable, preferably somewhere quiet. Close your eyes and empty your head of all the junk we accumulate in the average work week, boss is ticking you off, parents are breathing down your neck about something, the kids aren’t listening to you. Just chuck that out the window for 10 minutes and let the silence speak to you. Because I have come to believe that silence can tell you a lot more than the noises we have to listen to on a daily basis.

Blessed be  everyone and have a great July 4^th!